Exclusive Interview With Kevin Phillips!

By: Ethan Dean-Richards | February 8th, 2010

The West Brom Blog is its own worst enemy sometimes, but usually it’s its number one guy. Now onto Kevin Phillips.

*This interview may have been a figment of The West Brom Blog’s imagination

On Sunday former West Brom star Kevin Phillips made his first appearance for Birmingham City in almost two months, coming on to score two goals and turning the game in City’s favour – he went on to claim that he was as good a finisher as anyone in the league. Today he’s spoken to The West Brom Blog, here’s what happened:

TWBB : Hi Kevin, it’s great to see you.

KP: Great to see you too, erm…Mr…

TWBB: Call me Mr Blog

KP: Okay, Mr Blog

TWBB: Well, Kevin, let’s get talking about Sunday. You’re well into your fift…

KP: I’m only thirty-six!

[The West Brom Blog looks bemused]

TWBB: Whose interview is this Kevin?

KP: Yours…sorry

TWBB: That’s okay…this time. Anyway, as an older player, is it difficult to make an impact coming off the bench?

KP: Well, maybe for some, but not really for me. I’m a finisher, that’s what I do and I don’t think there’s anyone better at it.

TWBB: Really?

KP: Well let’s look at who there is: Torres? Better than him. Rooney? Better than him. Drogba? Better than him. I mean these guys haven’t got anything close to me have they? I can finish from anywhere: five, six yards out, easy. Look at that second goal against Wolves, d’you think Rooney or Drogba would’ve scored that? Don’t think so. Rooney’s got nothing on me for one on ones. When did Drogba last score twenty Championship goals? And how many caps does Torres have for England? [This went on for some time, The West Brom Blog nodded off briefly]

TWBB: Erm, right. That’s great. And what about Birmingham’s season?

KP: Champions League. Minimum requirement.

TWBB: Really, Kevin?

KP: Nah, just kidding with you [laughs loudly for at least a minute]

TWBB: Yeh, good one Kev [looks away awkwardly]

KP: Haha, that’s just me, Blog, I’m such a character! But seriously, I thinks Europe’s a realistic possibility – Certainly if we keep working hard and putting in committed performances like Sunday’s.

TWBB: … It’s Mr Blog

KP:What?

TWBB: You called me Blog. It’s Mr Blog to you.

KP: Oh, sorry.

TWBB: Just don’t let it happen again…So let’s talk about your time at West Brom, did you enjoy it?

KP: Of course, I mean, I was scoring goals for fun, the fans were great..erm…Oh, by the way, did I tell you before about how Capello told me I’ve got more chance than Owen of goin’ to the World Cup?

TWBB: No, you didn’t and that’s actually quite interesting, but that’s not the question you were asked, is it? You’ve been warned Kevin…

KP: Ah come on mate, calm down.

[The West Brom Blog shifts forward and Kevin has fear in his eyes]

TWBB: Go away Kevin. Just go, before I tell McLeish you left the dugout without his permission. Go fast. No-one questions The West Brom Blog

[Kevin Phillips edges away before trying to run and tripping]

The West Brom Blog would like to thank Kevin Phillips for doing the interview, and it suspects he will not be the last ‘exclusive’ it gets.

Tune in next time for more lies and lazy writing – yes, the original mistake in the title was of course on purpose.

Any comments about the interview…why not express them eh? Go now!