Losing a bet to the Bolton Offside.By: Ethan Dean-Richards | August 19th, 2010
This Blog is in illustrious company here at the Offside and, on a day where West Brom aren’t up to much, but a promise of 31 posts in a month still weighs heavy on Its mind, The West Brom Blog has decided to celebrate one of the other teams represented on the Offside – Bolton. Well, this post is actually the forfeit for a lost bet to Bolton Offsider, Matilda, but it’s pretty much the same thing. Onto Brilliant Bolton.
When looking to romanticise Bolton Football Club – trying to give it the kind of sheen that one might attempt when describing Xavi – the first thing you might think of is either Sam Allardyce chewing aggressively, yet alluringly, on a piece of chewing gum or Gary Megson doing the same thing. Too obvious.
Instead, as This Blog sits, staring into the night’s sky, surrounded only by warm summer air, it fantasises about ‘The Trotters’, and one aspect of their being captures its imagination more than any other – Matthew Taylor’s ‘ring-kissing’ celebration.
Weeks and months pass between each glorious glimpse of Matty blue-eyes’ sensual connections with his ring, but when it comes, it always delivers. First, with a delicate elegance (who said tautology?) he places his wedding ring to his lips, then, with grace and poise reminiscent of the late Anna Pavlova (no, that reference was not another bet, but it was obscure – good to see you’re still concentrating) he saunters over to his hoards of adoring fans and performs what can only be described as…a fist pump. Oh yes.
Half way through (yes, post-modern commentary is here, rejoice) and this post is feeling a bit too mean for a ‘celebration of Bolton’. To counteract that, only one outstanding gesture will surely do. And here it is:
The West Brom Blog, with Its mind more-or-less intact, admits that Bolton Wanderers are a better team than West Brom. What’s more, It can no longer even rely on a sense of moral superiority coming through the idea that West Brom play nicer football than Bolton, as Owen Coyle has begun the process of transforming them into a Horwich-based Arsenal.
And there you have it, a lunge in to the depths of poor, lazy writing that are The West Brom Blog, for Bolton Wanderers FC – apologies to any Bolton fans who feel instantly nauseous at the prospect of their club coming into contact with This Horrible Creature.
Today’s point of hate obviously goes to The Blog. 10-8.
Many of you – The Blog has seen the figures and you’re definitely out there – will have been expecting a post “annihilating Ethan Dean-Richards” today, based on the results of yesterday’s poll (still open). That though, will come in tomorrow, along with a REAL FOOTBALL POST, setting up the match against Sunderland on Saturday.